


The Bodyguard

by Dreamshaper



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: F/F, also angst, and fluff, and holtzbert, has a few scenes with injury and blood, the Bodyguard AU nobody asked for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-25
Updated: 2016-11-08
Packaged: 2018-08-24 16:05:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 20,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8378629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreamshaper/pseuds/Dreamshaper
Summary: Erin Gilbert is perfectly happy with her life - until someone tries to kill her. Her friend Patty takes matters in her own hands, and Erin finds herself in a situation she never would have thought she'd be in.She never would have thought she'd hear the sentence "I’m Holtzmann, and I’ll be your bodyguard.” and yet here she is. And so is Holtzmann.AU!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, looks I can't stop writing stuff for this fandom, lol. The love for Holtzbert is still going strong. I had fun writing this, and I hope you'll have fun reading it :D

Dr Erin Gilbert was happy. The reason for her happiness was easily explained – after years and years of hard work, it all had paid off, and in the last month, several amazing things had happened, rewards for all of said hard work.

At first, she had been given tenure at Columbia, a goal she had been working hard for, ever since she had started teaching there; then, she, together with her colleagues, had secured a grant for their research department, and to top it off, she had been nominated for the J. J. Sakurai Prize, one of the most sought-after awards for particle physics.

She was happy, and so, she thought to herself once the shock had faded, of course something had to happen to ruin this streak of good fortune; she thought that she should have seen it coming as she sat in the emergency room and the doctor took care of the cuts on her arms.

She’d been lucky, they told her, that the bomb someone had mailed to her hadn’t been built correctly, and hadn’t gone off with the force the culprit had been aiming for; still she’d gotten hurt, and as if that wasn’t enough, the shock that someone wanted to actually kill her chilled her to the bone.

“Erin!” she heard a worried voice call out, looking up from the work the doctor was doing on her forearms a bit dazed; she had a moment to wonder if her best friend was actually supposed to be in here, but if anyone objected to it, they apparently didn’t dare to say so.

“Abby”, she brought out, unable to keep the tremble out of her voice; Abby rushed to her side, looking as if she wanted to hug her, but not daring to, wringing her hands nervously instead.

“I came as fast as I could”, she then said, finally reaching out after all and placing a comforting hand on Erin’s shoulder, “Patty’s on her way, too, oh my God, what happened?”

“Someone wants to kill me”, Erin replied, quite bluntly, but unable to find nicer words for it, in her shocked state, “I got a letter, well, I got several today, all of them congratulatory for the nomination and the grant and everything and I thought it’d be another one of those but when I opened it…”

“Breathe, Dr Gilbert”, the doctor mumbled in a soothing tone, glancing up from her work on the physicist’s arms and trying to catch her gaze; giving her best to regulate her breathing, Erin closed her eyes, prompting Abby to rub her back soothingly, her friend looking back at her with concern when she finally opened her eyes again.

“I don’t understand”, she finally brought out, feeling close to tears, the sting of disinfectant as the doctor kept cleaning up the cuts only making the urge to cry bigger, “why would anyone want to…”

“I don’t know”, Abby had to admit, still rubbing her back, earning a miserable look from the physicist, “but I’m sure they’ll find whoever did this and put them in jail. I’m just glad you didn’t get hurt worse…”

Just then, Patty arrived, and even though the doctor looked quite miffed at this increasing number of people in the emergency room, she didn’t say anything, perhaps having decided that, with the shaken-up state Erin was in, it would be cruel to send the people who clearly were there to support her away.

“How you doing, baby-girl?” the historian wanted to know; their respective fields at the university were as different as they could be, with Abby and Erin working in the physics department while Patty was teaching classes on history, but somehow, they had ended up being friends, and Erin was glad about it – she’d never been good at making friends, and only could call Abby and Patty that, but the three of them were close, and she was grateful to have them by her side now, as well.

“I got lucky, apparently”, she answered the historian’s question, glancing down at her arms, the doctor almost done with patching her up by now, “that bomb… didn’t go off the way it should have. But… I don’t get it, why would anyone want to kill me?”

“I don’t know, honey”, Patty replied, the fact that she used a term of endearment yet again showing how upset she was, the frequency with which she addressed her friends this way always increasing when she felt bad, “but we’re gonna do something about it, I promise.”

If she hadn’t been so distraught by what had happened, Erin might have questioned that, might have asked what exactly Patty was planning to do; as it was though, she just nodded distractedly, wincing as the doctor began cleaning the last cut which still needed to be taken care of, the woman giving her a sympathetic look before she focused on her work again.

“You’re lucky none of these need stitches”, she then said, as she got done and began covering the wounds with patches of mull and bandages, “but I still recommend no heavy lifting the next few days, until they properly scabbed over. If you notice any signs of infection, please come back here immediately. Do you want me to prescribe you a painkiller? Or something to calm you down a bit?”

“No, thank you”, Erin gave back, not adding that she had medication for her anxiety at home anyway; she feared that, once what had happened would catch up fully to her, that medication might not be enough, but she was in no mood to discuss her medication and how it might interact with anything the doctor might prescribe.

Abby gave her a worried look, but didn’t comment on her choice; instead, she asked the doctor if they could take Erin home now, a bit relieved when the woman nodded, not wanting to imagine what it might have done to the physicist, had she been forced to spend the night at the hospital.

“I know that what happened to you is very frightening”, the doctor said as Erin got up from her seat, “but let me reassure you once more that you were very lucky. This could have ended much worse.”

“I know”, Erin mumbled, even though this didn’t make her feel much better; Abby gave her a shoulder a gentle squeeze, then took tender hold of her arm as they walked out of the ER together.

Once they stepped back out into the hallway, Patty glanced around, as if she was looking for someone; before Erin could question this though, the historian’s face lit up, and Erin, despite her state of dismay, found herself curious, and followed her line of sight, frowning to herself when she saw whom Patty was looking at.

It was a woman, younger than the three of them, Erin would have guessed that she was in her early thirties; she slouched in one of the chairs mounted to the wall, peering at the display of a cell phone through yellow-tinted glasses, dressed in grey slacks and a vest of the same colour over a dark shirt, the clunky combat boots and the unruly mop of blonde locks on her head clashing quite a bit with that outfit, but somehow, she made it work.

“Holtzy!” Patty called out, and made her look up from the phone; she smiled and put her phone away, then got up from the seat, Erin unable to look away as she watched her approach, the woman smirking at her as she gave a two-fingered salute.

“You must be Dr Erin Gilbert”, she then said, not trying to initiate a handshake though after a glance at the bandaged forearms of the physicist, “nice to meet you. I’m Holtzmann, and I’ll be your bodyguard.”


	2. Chapter 2

“You must be joking”, Erin flatly replied, looking from the blonde – who was raising an eyebrow at Patty – to the historian; Patty shook her head, while Abby just gaped, clearly not having expected this new development, either.

“Just for a while, baby girl”, Patty told her, “until they managed to catch whoever tried to blow you up. Holtzy’s a long-time friend of mine, you can trust her, she’s done this before.”

“I might be a bit out of practice”, Holtzmann added, making Erin look at her again, and even though the yellow glasses were still in place, the physicist found herself noticing how amazingly blue the younger woman’s eyes were, “but I’ve done work like this, before I finished my degree. Patty asked me to help you out, so I put my actual work on hold for a bit.”

“Holtzy’s a nuclear engineer when she’s not protecting people, but her dad was in the secret service and taught her a thing or two”, Patty let the physicist know, who started to feel decidedly surreal, “and she uses that knowledge to build nifty gadgets for full-time bodyguard friends. Also, she’ll do it for free!”

“I don’t think that is necessary, though”, Erin pointed out, “no offense, um, Dr Holtzmann, but I’m sure this whole matter will be settled soon…?”

“Just call me Holtzmann”, the blonde gave back, “and if it is, yay for good police work, but in case it’s not, and that creep tries again, you should have someone around who knows what to do. But I promise you won’t even notice I’m there.”

Erin found _that_ somewhat hard to believe, seeing how the woman stood out even now, with the way she was dressed and her whole attitude; Patty was nodding though, and now, Abby looked intrigued by the idea, as well, an impression the researcher confirmed moments later when she spoke up.

“It can’t hurt, can it”, she pointed out, “and if they catch whoever did this quickly, then it won’t be for long, either! Come on Erin, say yes, it would make us all feel so much better to know you have someone who’ll look out for you.”

“…fine”, Erin sighed, not all too happy about this, but figuring that her friends wouldn’t give in until she agreed, anyway, and thus sparing herself the discussion, “as long as you promise it won’t have any… impact on my life.”

“Not much”, Holtzmann reassured her, “excellent. I’ll take you home then, I’m here with my car, then we can get acquainted on the way.”

“Um, alright”, Erin gave back, while both Patty and Abby beamed at her agreement; then, Abby asked if she’d take the next day off, mildly surprised when Erin shook her head, giving her best to sound stern when she answered verbally, as well.

“No”, she told the researcher, “if I start hiding away at home, I… I might not be able to stop. And I don’t want whoever did this to think that they scared me into holing myself up at home.”

She felt a bit strange, confessing such things in front of Holtzmann, who was a total stranger; if the blonde judged her for her words though, she didn’t let it show, merely looking from her to Abby when the researcher replied, with an expression of mild interest, but no contempt or judgement.

“Alright”, Abby said, nodding, “I’ll see you tomorrow at university, then. Take care.”

Erin nodded, then looked at Holtzmann somewhat questioningly; the blonde let her know that she was ready when she was in reply, and after the physicist briefly had hugged both Abby and Patty, she felt ready to go home, letting Holtzmann lead the way to her car, eying her curiously as they walked, wondering if she had made the right choice, but telling herself that this wouldn’t last long and that surely, everything would be resolved soon, trying to push down her fear about this whole mess and trying to ignore how much her life had changed within just a few seconds.

* * *

 

During the drive to Erin’s apartment, Holtzmann talked practically constantly; she told Erin about herself, in an attempt, the physicist figured, to make her more comfortable around her, letting her know that she was thirty-two, a Virgo, an avid skier, gluten-full, whatever that was supposed to mean, and, allegedly, very jazzed to meet her.

Erin remained quiet for most of the drive, letting the blonde talk and stealing glanced at her every now and then; she asked herself how she could have agreed to this now, and how this strange woman was supposed to protect her, this woman who apparently had the questionable skill to talk and breathe at the same time, since she never seemed to pause to actually take a breath.

“…and then Patty called me and said her friend needed help, so here we are”, Holtzmann finished, glancing at her briefly before she focused on the road again, “she said someone sent you a letter bomb?”

“Yes”, Erin confirmed, grimacing, “apparently, I was lucky, because it didn’t blow up properly, but, well…”

“Well, if they want to try again, they have to get past me first”, Holtzmann told her, smirking at her for a moment, then looking at the road once more; Erin shot her a sideways glance, and cleared her throat, giving her best to sound neutral when she replied.

“I appreciate that you are willing to do this”, she let the blonde know, “but… no offense, but you don’t really look like the type people hire as a bodyguard.”

“And that’s a good thing”, Holtzmann told her solemnly, pulling up to her apartment building and parking her car on the spot reserved for Erin, the physicist’s vehicle still at the university, since she had been rushed to the hospital via ambulance after the letter had blown up in her hands, “cause then people underestimate me. They wouldn’t if I was some big gorilla in a suit and with sunglasses.”

“Good point”, Erin had to admit, earning another smirk from the smaller woman while she killed the engine; the two of them got out of the car, and now, Holtzmann let Erin lead the way, letting out a “tsk, tsk” once they stood in front of the redhead’s apartment door.

“Okay, that won’t do”, she said, bending down to inspect the lock before Erin had the chance to unlock said door, “I’ll have that lock replaced with a better one asap. A kid could pick that with a bobby pin.”

“I doubt it is that easy”, Erin replied primly, holding Holtzmann’s gaze when the blonde raised an eyebrow at her; she wasn’t quite sure why the bodyguard’s judgement of her door lock made her feel offended, but she didn’t like it nonetheless, figuring that, with the monthly rent she paid for the place, the landlord certainly had put in a lock which couldn’t, in fact, be picked by a kid with bobby pin.

“Bet you ten dollars it is”, Holtzmann said, reaching into her messy hairdo before Erin had the chance to reply and pulling a hairpin from somewhere deep within the bun at the back of her neck, “watch me.”

Frowning, Erin did just that, watching how Holtzmann inserted the pin into the lock; the blonde’s brow furrowed as well, even though it was in concentration and not with dismay as she began moving the pin this way and that – until an audible click came from the lock and the door swung open, Erin unable to hold back a gasp at the sight.

“You owe me ten dollars”, Holtzmann told her as she strolled into the apartment, Erin following suit after a moment of looking after her stunned, “want me to lock it again, too?”

“I never said yes to that bet”, Erin pointed out, making the blonde snort, “but yes, please do lock it, because I just realized my handbag is still at Columbia, and my keys are in that, so…”

“…so I should charge you what a locksmith would charge for opening that door instead of the ten dollars”, Holtzmann smirked as she used the pin once more to lock the door again, “but I told you I’d do this job for free, so you’re off the hook. Where’s your bedroom?”

“Um, over there”, Erin replied, not sure why Holtzmann would want to know; moments later, she found out, the bodyguard practically making a beeline for it and peering out the window, nodding a moment later.

“Good”, she then said, “at least your bedroom window’s not facing another building high enough for a good sniper’s nest. I still want you to make sure you have the curtains closed before you switch on the lights in here at night, alright?”

“Um, sure”, Erin gave back, having to admit to herself that apparently, Holtzmann knew what she was doing; the blonde still checked the other windows in the same fashion, advised Erin to stay away from the one in the kitchen for the time being, then told her that she’d take care of the lock now and dug her phone out of her pocket, the physicist sitting down on the couch as she waited for her to get done, running a nervous hand through her hair as she once more asked herself what she had gotten into now.


	3. Chapter 3

The man Holtzmann had called about the lock arrived a surprisingly short time later, a blonde and quite buff guy who introduced himself as Kevin Beckman; if she hadn’t been so distracted by someone actually wanting to kill her, Erin might have taken notice of his built and general handsomeness, but as it was, she was too distraught to pay much attention to that.

Kevin worked on the door for a while, removing the old lock and putting in a new one which, as Holtzmann reassured her, was much more secure and harder to pick than the one she’d used before; it didn’t take long, at least, and not long after he had arrived, the lock had been replaced and he proudly handed a new set of keys to the physicist.

“Thanks man”, Holtzmann said, while Erin was just looking at the keys somewhat numbly, asking herself why this all was happening to her, why she was here now, with two complete strangers in her home, and someone out there who wanted to see her dead, and suddenly, she found it hard to breathe, her throat constricting, her palms beginning to sweat as she realized what was happening, but didn’t know how to stop it.

“Hey Kev”, she heard Holtzmann say, feeling the blonde’s eyes on her, “let’s talk payment tomorrow, alright? Dr Gilbert needs some rest.”

“Sure Holtz”, Kevin replied, smiling good-naturedly; Holtzmann smiled back at him, her eyes never leaving Erin though, noting the sweat on her brow and how pale she had become within a minute, Kevin giving the redhead a concerned look as well, but not making any comment, merely saying his goodbye and leaving the apartment.

“Hey”, Holtzmann said, by her side in a flash and sitting down next to her, but not touching her, Erin noted – anyone else might have put a hand on her shoulder or arm, but Holtzmann kept her hands to herself, apparently somehow knowing what was happening to the physicist, “it’s okay, it’s okay. Look at me. Come on, Erin, look at me?”

Somehow, Erin managed to turn her head far enough to look at the blonde, and Holtzmann made sure to hold her gaze, keeping her voice level and calm when she spoke up again, making Erin wonder, through the haze of her panic, if she had dealt with someone having a panic attack before and thus knew exactly what to do, or if it was just a lucky guess.

“Okay, good”, Holtzmann was saying, “keep your focus on me, alright? Is it okay if I touch you?”

Erin managed a weak nod, still finding it hard to breathe; Holtzmann gave her a reassuring smile, but didn’t touch her yet, reaching behind her own neck with both hands instead and unclasping something there, pulling a necklace out of her shirt moments later, a pendant composed of a metal U and a screw behind it dangling from the silver chain.

“Here”, Holtzmann said, placing the pendant in Erin’s palm and tenderly closing her fingers over it, keeping her hand on the physicist’s afterwards, “focus on how this feels. Feel the ridges of the screw? And how smooth the rest of it is, in comparison?”

Erin was focused much more on the feeling of Holtzmann’s hand on hers, the engineer’s palm warm, but not sweaty, and quite pleasant; she still nodded though as she ran her thumb over the pendant, and Holtzmann smiled encouragingly, turning a bit on the couch now so she could put her other arm around Erin’s shoulders, only leaving it there though once she had asked if this was okay and Erin had nodded her agreement.

“Okay, good”, Holtzmann went on, rubbing her shoulder and upper arm soothingly now, the physicist feeling relieved when it got easier to breathe again, “now, can you breathe in and out deeply for me? Like me, come on.”

She huffed and puffed, quite exaggerated, but it got the job done – Erin managed a weak smile, and her breathing evened out, and once she had gotten that under control, her heartbeat slowed down to a much healthier pace, as well, and she felt the panic subside, taking in another deep breath before she dared to speak up.

“Thank you”, she mumbled, looking at Holtzmann, blushing at having suffered through this in front of a perfect stranger, “that… really helped. How did you know…?”

“Been there, done that”, Holtzmann replied dismissively, in a tone which made it clear she wasn’t quite willing to talk more about this, accepting the necklace when Erin handed it back to her, “glad I could help. And good thing I was around, huh? Imagine you had been alone.”

Erin grimaced at the thought, not having to imagine much – she had gone through this on her own before, and more often than not, it had ended with her crying in the bathroom, after she had thrown up, tears of fear and exhaustion and sometimes pain, the vile taste of vomit in her mouth, her heart racing in her chest so fast that sometimes, she was honestly surprised she hadn’t gotten a heart attack on top of the panic attack.

“I’m glad I wasn’t”, she thus admitted, feeling a bit forlorn when Holtzmann pulled her arm back, her back strangely cold where it had been moments ago and now wasn’t anymore, “again, thank you. Guess the whole bodyguard thing already paid off, huh.”

“Indeed”, Holtzmann smirked as she put her necklace back on, letting the pendant slide beneath her shirt; Erin gave her another weak smile, then cleared her throat before she asked if it’d be okay to order take-out, only to nearly facepalm as she remembered that her bag was still at Columbia, and that her wallet was in said bag.

“Don’t sweat it”, Holtzmann told her, with a dismissive wave of her hand, “take-out’s fine, and I can pay.”

“You do this bodyguard thing for free and now you pay for my food, too, that makes me feel bad”, Erin gave back, making the blonde raise an eyebrow at her, “I’ll pay you back tomorrow. So what should we get?”

“I know a great Chinese restaurant”, Holtzmann offered in reply, “we can order there. They are trustworthy, so we don’t need to worry that someone will mess with the food.”

Briefly, Erin wondered if this wasn’t a bit too paranoid – certainly, whoever wanted her dead wouldn’t spend hours and hours in front of her apartment building on the off chance that she’d order food, so they could poison said food – but didn’t say these thoughts out loud; instead, she just nodded, and after she had chosen her food, Holtzmann called the restaurant, the way she said “Hey, it’s me”, making it quite clear to Erin that she did call there quite often indeed.

“No, another address this time”, Holtzmann told the person on the other end of the line after she had given them her order; while she gave them Erin’s address, the physicist looked over at the window from her spot on the couch, her brow furrowing as she wondered if somewhere out there, the person who had tried to kill her by now had learned that she had survived with just a few cuts – and if they were planning another attack already, and suddenly, she was more than glad that Holtzmann was with her, not quite sure yet if the blonde really would be good at this, but figuring that it was better than nothing and that, until this person had been caught, she could need all the protection she could get.


	4. Chapter 4

In the next day, Erin had a class to teach right at eight a.m., and as always, went to said class without stopping by at the office first; Holtzmann didn’t like that she had this sort of routine, knowing it would make it easier to target her, but didn’t speak up against it for the moment, not wanting to freak her out before she had to teach a bunch of students eager to learn.

So, instead of commenting on Erin’s routine, but already knowing that certainly, the redhead had more than one of those, Holtzmann looked around the lecture hall, trying to find the best seat; sitting at the far back would make it easy for her to keep an eye on everyone, but, on the other hand, she’d be too far from Erin, should something happen, while sitting in the front row would put her closer to the physicist, but would actually leave her with her back to the students, which wasn’t ideal, either.

“Erin”, she thus said, prompting the physicist to pause in her preparation of the lecture and make her look up at her, “you’re probably not going to like this, but I have to sit in the corner right there.”

“Behind me?” Erin wanted to know, frowning, “all the students are going to wonder what you are doing there.”

“I imagine they know about the bomb by now, such things always get out”, Holtzmann replied, making Erin swallow heavily, the redhead not liking the thought of her students actually knowing that someone wanted to kill her, “so they’ll figure out why I’m here. If they do ask, just tell them it’s for security reasons.”

“Alright”, Erin sighed, “I guess you know what you’re doing, so get comfortable over there, if you think it has to be done that way.”

Holtzmann nodded, then moved a chair to the corner; and just as she got comfortable, the students began to file in, and she took a close look at each and every one of them, some of them looking back at her curiously, none of them questioning her being there though – at least, she thought to herself, not openly, some of them whispering to each other as they took their seats.

Clearly, Erin had decided to act as if she wasn’t there, not acknowledging her presence in the slightest as she greeted the class and began with her lecture at once; and apparently, said lecture was more interesting than Holtzmann in her corner, since the students focused on the physicist pretty quickly and paid her no more mind.

She used the time the class ran well, studying the people who had shown up; sadly, none of them was wearing a sign which proclaimed “I want to kill Dr Gilbert”, that probably would have been too easy, but she couldn’t detect any open hostility from any of them, and even though she knew that the culprit might be hiding their emotions about the physicist well, she figured that it hadn’t been one of them who had sent the letter bomb.

Still, Holtzmann didn’t cross the possibility off her mental list completely, not yet, knowing she couldn’t know for sure; she kept looking at the students as they listened to Erin and took notes, and time flew by, the class over faster than she had expected, some of the girls and boys giving her curious looks again as they headed out to their next lecture.

“You give any of them a bad grade lately?” Holtzmann wanted to know once they were alone again, and Erin had begun packing up her things; the physicist shook her head in response, letting her know that her class was one with a rather good grade average, and the bodyguard nodded to that, smiling at her afterwards.

“Well, if it makes you feel better”, she then said, “I don’t think it was one of your students. I watched them during your lecture, and none of them seemed in any way unfriendly or hostile towards you.”

“That is kind of calming”, Erin replied, managing a slight smile, “but still leaves quite a lot of options.”

“Sadly, yes”, Holtzmann had to agree, “but have no fear, until it has been figured out who is after you, you’ll have me around to protect you. Where to next?”

“My office”, Erin told her, “um, I’m not sure it might help, but you can take a look at the letters I got before the one with the bomb arrived? I kept them, in case the police needed them.”

“Good thinking”, Holtzmann complimented her, “can’t hurt to look at them. To your office it is, then.”

Erin led the way, some of her colleagues eying Holtzmann as she passed them; the physicist didn’t bother to explain anything though, and so, the bodyguard didn’t, either, just smiling and nodding innocently at the men and women who eyed her, Erin letting out a heavy breath the moment the door leading to her office had closed behind her.

“Well that was awkward”, she then said, shaking her head, “oh, and by the way, that one guy in the grey suit who stared at you as if you have two heads? That was Phil. My ex, but I don’t think he has it in him to send me letter bombs.”

“No?” Holtzmann wanted to know, watching how Erin found her handbag and quickly went through it, making sure everything was still in place, “things ended well between you, then?”

“Mostly”, Erin replied with a shrug, opening one of the drawers at her desk and pulling out a cardboard box as she spoke, “actually, I ended things with him after just two months. He got rather… unpleasant when I told him I take medication for my anxiety, and even worse when I let it slip that I’m bisexual, so I broke up with him.”

_Bisexual, huh_ , Holtzmann thought to herself, keeping her face perfectly neutral, _that is quite good to know._

“So he might think we’re sleeping together”, Erin continued, oblivious to the thoughts running through the blonde’s mind, “which is why he stared at you like this. Here, these are the letters I got before the one which actually blew up in my face.”

Holtzmann took the box and, to Erin’s surprise, pulled a glove from her pocket and put it on, mumbling about fingerprints at the redhead’s confused look, then gingerly took one of the letters out; she was a bit dismayed that it hadn’t been handwritten, but printed from a computer, since handwriting might have made finding the culprit easier, but of course whoever had done this to the physicist hadn’t been dumb enough to actually handwrite her a letter with death threats.

_Bitch_ , the letter started without preamble, not really surprising to the bodyguard, as she figured that it had been written in a rather agitated state of mind, had it been handwritten, she probably would have been able to see how hard the writer had pressed the pen down, _enjoy your luck as long as it lasts. I’m going to end you before you get all these things you don’t deserve._

“This could be about a bunch of things”, Holtzmann sighed, putting the letter back down and checking the other one, which said pretty much the same thing, only with a hearty “fuck you” at the end, instead of something nicer like “Best regards”, “the tenure, or the grant, or the prize you’re nominated for.”

“I know”, Erin sighed, taking the box back when Holtzmann held it out to her and making it vanish in the drawer again, “but all these things are academic accomplishments, and I don’t like the thought that someone at this institution actually wants to kill me for this. You’d think they’d be happy for a successful colleague!”

“You don’t know people well, do you”, Holtzmann replied, raising an eyebrow; Erin shrugged, and sighed, and the blonde gave her a reassuring smile as she told her that it’d be okay, reaching out to briefly touch her arm, and after a moment, Erin smiled back at her, allowing herself to believe that Holtzmann was right and that soon, everything would be fine, even though she couldn’t quite still the nagging fear at the far back of her mind.


	5. Chapter 5

For the rest of the day, Holtzmann hung around the office, talked to Erin’s colleagues and made it known that the physicist had a bodyguard now; if anyone thought this was exaggerated, they didn’t say so, at least nobody of the people Erin worked with every day, but apparently, the dean didn’t plan to keep as quiet about it as everyone else, coming to Erin’s office just shortly before it was time for the physicist to go home.

“Dr Gilbert”, he greeted, somewhat stiffly, then looked at Holtzmann expectantly, raising an eyebrow when the blonde simply said “Holtzmann”, not bothering to add her first name or her title; Filmore cleared his throat after a second, as if he had expected more, then looked at Erin again, raising an eyebrow at her as he vaguely gestured at her bodyguard.

“Apart from not thinking that this is really necessary”, he said, shooting Holtzmann a look as if he hoped she would vanish into thin air, “you should have discussed this with me first. I hope you don’t expect Columbia to pay for this… service.”

“No”, Erin replied, deciding in the same instant to not tell him that Holtzmann was doing this for free, “payment has been taken care of.”

“Don’t worry, the university won’t pay a dime for this”, Holtzmann added, to Erin’s relief not revealing that she wasn’t taking any money for this, either, “but I have to say, I do find it strange that you believe this isn’t necessary. It was sheer luck and the incompetence of whoever sent this bomb that Dr Gilbert didn’t get hurt worse. Clearly someone’s out to get her.”

Filmore only raised an eyebrow at her words again, but, to Erin’s relief, didn’t try to tell her that she should send Holtzmann away – and Erin realized that he barely could, with the blonde actually not costing the place any money, and as long as she didn’t disrupt anything, he had no proper reason to kick her out.

“Fine”, he thus said, begrudgingly, “if this makes you feel any better, by all means, have this person around. The moment anyone complains about her though, she’s out.”

“Dr Gilbert seems well-liked by her colleagues and students, so I doubt that anyone will have a problem with my presence”, Holtzmann told him, smiling pleasantly while Erin gave her a grateful look, glad that the blonde was handling this with such ease – she knew that, if she had tried, she never would have managed to sound so calm and collected, always cowed by the man’s authority, even now that she had been given tenure.

“And if anyone does object to her having some extra security until this matter has been sorted out”, Holtzmann continued, raising an eyebrow at him now, “I’d take a closer look at this person.”

Filmore let out a sort of huff in reply which made the blonde smile innocently again; he gave her another hard look, then mumbled “no disruptions” once more before he turned and left without another word, Erin letting out a heavy breath the moment he was out the door and had closed it behind himself.

“Thank you”, she then mumbled, glancing at Holtzmann, feeling a bit embarrassed for her failure to defend herself, but, to her relief, Holtzmann didn’t comment on it, just told her not to mention it before she gestured vaguely at Erin’s bag and asked her if she was ready to go.

“Yes”, the physicist replied, shouldering her bag after she had gotten out her car keys, “will you follow me back in your car? I can take mine home now.”

“Sure”, Holtzmann told her, making her smile slightly, “I’ll walk you to your car, and then we’ll meet at the parking lot exit?”

Erin nodded her agreement to that, and they left the office together; as they walked, Holtzmann got the nagging feeling she had forgotten something, and she frowned to herself, glancing around the parking lot, trying to put her finger on what was bothering her about this whole situation.

It wasn’t that she’d let Erin drive alone, she thought to herself, while the physicist led the way to her car, a rather new one in an unobtrusive blue colour, she’d be right behind her, and ramming someone in a car with another car was quite risky, anyway; if whoever was after Erin wasn’t completely crazy, this wouldn’t be an option then, and she might even notice anyone following the redhead home.

So it wasn’t that, she pondered, while Erin pulled her keys from her bag and moved to unlock her car; Holtzmann’s frown deepened as she watched the physicist pull the door open and get into her car, the feeling that she had forgotten something turning from a vague idea to a blaring alarm while Erin pulled the car door close, then inserted her key in the ignition.

The key, Holtzmann thought, the key which had been in Erin’s bag all day, in a bag which had been standing in an office no one but her used… a bag anyone could have gone to, and taken the key, and done God knew what to her car. Because her car had been standing there the whole time, too, and anyone could walk onto this parking lot and…

“Erin!” Holtzmann shouted, not allowing herself to stop and ponder this any further, knowing that her gut instinct about these things was usually right, even after years during which she hadn’t done that kind of work, “Erin, _get out of the car!”_

She started to run as she yelled the last few words, practically ripped the car open, Erin looking up at her startled, the key halfway turned in the ignition; she moved it the rest of the way without realizing what she was doing, muscle memory taking over, and the engine came to life with an odd stuttering sound, Holtzmann’s eyes going wide – before she grabbed her somewhat roughly and practically yanked her out of the car, ignoring the physicist’s alarmed cry of “Holtzmann!” as she halfway dragged, halfway carried her away from the vehicle.

“Holtzmann, what the Hell”, Erin demanded, her use of the last word showing how upset she was – according to Patty, she hadn’t even cursed after the letter bomb had hurt her, “what are you doing?!”

“Move, move, move!” Holtzmann just yelled in response, still pushing her along as fast as she could; she looked back over her shoulder at the car, saw the smoke rising from the car’s interior, and once more reacted without thinking – by more or less tackling a yelping Erin to the ground and covering her with her body, giving her best to shield her own head with her arms as she squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for the bang.

“Holtzmann”, Erin still had time to say, sounding annoyed now, not liking it to lie face-down on the parking lot, with the blonde on top of her like that, “what the—”

The explosion seemed to shake the ground, and force all the air out of her lungs in a soundless huff; a wave of heat rolled over the bodyguard and her, even though her ears rang, she could hear bits and pieces fall to the ground all around them, the smell of smoke and burning rubber and melting metal filling her nostrils and making her eyes water.

“Oh my God”, Erin brought out at last, in a weak, trembling voice, while Holtzmann deemed it safe to get back up and did just that, helping her to her feet afterwards; she heard the blonde ask her if she was okay, but found herself unable to answer, her gaze glued to what was left of her car, her stomach turning at the sight of the burning wreck.

“Oh my God”, she said again, while people started to appear at the windows and the doors, pointing at the smoking car and talking to each other excitedly; she barely noticed how Holtzmann took hold of her arm and asked her again if she was alright, her stomach clenching up painfully – before she somehow had the presence of mind to turn away from the bodyguard and threw up, dully noting the blonde holding her hair back so she wouldn’t get any puke on it.

Anyone else might have said some meaningless phrases, something like “there, there”, or “it’s gonna be okay”; Holtzmann said no such thing though, but simply held her hair with one hand and rubbed her back with the other while people came running over at last, Abby, unsurprisingly, in the lead, with Patty right behind her, yelling if Erin was okay.

“Fine, fine”, Holtzmann told them the moment they were close enough to hear her without her having to yell, “just… well, shocked. No surprise there. Someone get her some water!”

One of the students felt addressed by that, and went to do just that; and while Abby and Patty finally reached the two, Erin got her stomach under control again, straightening up and wiping at her tearing eyes – before she, without a word, turned and, to the obvious surprise of the bodyguard, hugged her tight, burying her face in the smaller woman’s shoulder.

“It’s okay”, Holtzmann now said after all, after briefly having made sure that she couldn’t see any blood anywhere on Erin’s clothes, “you’re okay, right? Do you feel pain anywhere?”

“No”, Erin mumbled after a few seconds had ticked by in silence, “I’m… fine. Thank you.”

“Glad you’re okay”, the blonde gave back, patting her back reassuringly; Erin looked at her and smiled weakly, and just then, Filmore came hurrying over, his eyes wide as he gestured at the car and demanded to know what had happened.

“What happened”, Holtzmann was the one to answer that, figuring that she could talk rashly to him since she had no job to lose at the university, “is that someone blew up Dr Gilbert’s car. You still think it’s not necessary that I’m here?”

Filmore had the decency to look taken aback, but regained his composure quickly, telling the small group that police was on the way; Abby just shot him a poisonous look, then moved closer to Erin and began speaking to her in a soothing tone, and while she did that, Holtzmann kept holding the shaking physicist in her arms, until the police arrived.


	6. Chapter 6

The team the police had sent consisted of one man and one woman, and clearly, it had been decided that the woman should do the talking; and so she did, asking Erin in a soothing voice what exactly had happened, and to tell them as much as she remembered, no matter how insignificant it might seem.

“Holtzmann noticed”, Erin mumbled, sounding a bit dazed; she was back in her office, since the familiar surroundings might help to calm her down, and since she hadn’t stopped shaking, someone had found a blanket to drape over her shoulders and a cup of tea, to which she held on now without drinking, “I… she’s my bodyguard, my friend Patty got her to look out for me after I received that letter bomb. She walked me to the car, and noticed something’s wrong, and got me out and away before it blew up.”

“Her handbag”, Holtzmann explained when the policewoman gave her a questioning look, “I realized that it’s been here the whole time since she got taken to the hospital yesterday, and that her key has been in it, so… yeah. It was a gut thing, and my gut was right.”

“Good job”, the woman, Officer Hernandez, Erin belatedly read on her nametag, complimented the blonde, “but I think we’ll take over from here, Dr Gilbert will be given police protection and—”

“No.” Erin surprised herself with speaking up, and clearly, nobody else had been expecting that, either, everyone in the room – the two police people, Holtzmann, Abby, Patty and Filmore – looking at her in surprise; on any other day, she might have been cowed by this kind of attention, but after what just had happened, the thought of having Holtzmann replaced by some random police person made her heart race and her palms sweaty, and she wasn’t going to let that happen.

“You can put someone on the lookout”, she made herself say, looking Officer Hernandez in the eyes now, her gaze unwavering, “but Holtzmann will stay.”

“I’m certain Miss Holtzmann did a good job”, the male officer spoke up, his nametag identifying him as Officer Wilkerson, “but we have people who are specifically trained for these situations.”

“It’s Dr Holtzmann”, Erin corrected, noticing the blonde smirk from the corner of her eye, but not looking away from the policeman, “and she saved my life. She’s not going anywhere.”

“Dr Gilbert”, Filmore now tried, while the cops exchanged a look, “perhaps you should take a moment to think about this, the police—”

“No!” Erin snapped, loud enough to make the elder man actually flinch, barely feeling how someone put a calming hand on her back, and not bothering to look who it was, “Holtzmann stays! She saved my life after _you_ told me that it’s not even necessary to have her here, and I trust her, she stays!”

“Alright, Dr Gilbert”, Hernandez said soothingly once Erin had fallen silent again, Abby rubbing her back soothingly as she took in heavy, slightly watery breaths, “if that is what you prefer, we will do it that way. We’ll have someone on the lookout for you, but it seems that Mi… Dr Holtzmann knows what she is doing, so she’ll keep on being your bodyguard. Alright?”

Erin nodded, unable to hide her relief; Filmore looked annoyed, but didn’t say anything, even though he did raise an eyebrow again when Officer Wilkerson asked Holtzmann to step outside with him for a moment, the blonde nodding and following him – after a brief look at Erin to make sure it was okay, and a barely perceptible nod from the redhead.

“You’re sure you didn’t get hurt?” Hernandez asked while the two talked outside, earning another nod from the physicist; now that it had been settled that Holtzmann would stay, Erin’s willingness to yell at the officers had evaporated, and she seemed to shrink in her seat, Abby giving her a concerned look, still rubbing her back tenderly.

“You want some more tea, honey?” Patty wanted to know, even though the redhead barely had taken a sip; Erin shook her head and, as if she only realized now that she was actually holding a cup, put it down on her desk, clutching the blanket with both hands afterwards, another shiver running through her as she once more realized how close she had been to getting killed, had it not had been for Holtzmann and her fast reaction.

“I just want to go home”, she mumbled, unable to keep a tremble out of her voice; Patty nodded, and Abby did, too, telling her in a low, soothing voice that Holtzmann would take her home soon, as soon as she had gotten done talking to the police.

 Erin nodded, taking in a deep breath as she tried to keep it together, not wanting to cry in front of Filmore, of all people; to her relief, it didn’t take long until Holtzmann came back into the office, nodding when Erin asked if they could go.

“We’ll have to make a quick stop at my apartment”, the blonde then told her, watching how she came to her feet and handed the blanket to Abby, “I just need to pick a few things up. Alright?”

Erin nodded again, making the blonde smile soothingly at her; sensing the physicist’s need for comfort, even though she didn’t know her that well yet, she put one arm around the taller woman’s shoulders, and led the way back to the parking lot, Erin studiously not looking at the wreck of her car – the flames were gone by now, and a bunch of police investigators was poking through the burnt husk, but the smell was still in the air, making her stomach turn once more.

“I can’t believe they wanted to send you away”, Erin mumbled once they were in Holtzmann’s car and she had put on the seatbelt, “you saved my life and they just wanted to send you away.”

“It was nothing personal”, Holtzmann let her know as she started the engine, briefly sniffling as unobtrusively as possible to make sure her car hadn’t been tampered with, as well, glad when nothing seemed out of the ordinary, “just standard procedure. I’m glad you want to keep me around though.”

“You saved me”, Erin replied, buckling her seatbelt while the blonde manoeuvred the car out of the parking spot and drove out onto the street, “and I don’t want some random police man… or woman… there with me. I want you.”

She didn’t notice Holtzmann’s eyebrow twitch at that, and the blonde had to remind herself that Erin meant she wanted her as her bodyguard, and certainly nothing else, bisexual or not – they didn’t know each for two full days yet, so this was all Erin _could_ mean. No matter how attractive Holtzmann thought she was, and certainly not right now, the blonde sternly told herself as she drove, when the physicist was shaken up and frightened after she nearly had died. Again.

“What did the police want?” Erin wanted to know, breaking the silence which had formed between them, even though it hadn’t been an uncomfortable one; Holtzmann shrugged, then briefly glanced at her and smiled, her response making the redhead smile a bit, as well.

“He wanted to know if I have a gun, and am licensed to use it”, the blonde let her know, her gaze returning to the road, “and while I do, I told him I have something way better and less lethal. Well, unless the one who’s after you has a heart condition. I’ll show you at my home.”

Erin nodded at that, then leaned back into the seat; now that the shock of what had happened was wearing off, she felt tired, and even though she didn’t know how far it was to her bodyguard’s apartment, her eyes drifted close and she fell into a light slumber, dozing until Holtzmann stopped the car and gently woke her, telling her that they had arrived.


	7. Chapter 7

Holtzmann’s apartment wasn’t big, and looked even smaller thanks to all the stuff she had piled everywhere; Erin looked in wonder at the various parts for the projects the blonde was working on, bits of metal and glass and plastic, trying to imagine what they might be used for, but failing miserably.

“Better not touch anything”, Holtzmann told her as she moved to the couch, knelt down in front of and pulled a dusty suitcase from beneath it, “it all _should_ be stable, but, well…”

“Uh-huh”, Erin let out, keeping her hands to herself; instead of poking around, she watched as Holtzmann opened the suitcase, and pulled out some black device which reminded her of a gun, but didn’t quite look like one, making her wonder what it might be, the engineer answering the question before she could actually ask it.

“It’s a stun gun”, she let her know, holding it up so Erin could get a closer look, “my own design though, and I built it myself, too. It’s been a while since I used it, as I said, I haven’t done that kind of work in a while, but it should still be fully functional.”

“Maybe you should test it”, Erin suggested, a bit nervous, not liking the thought of whoever is after her attacking her and the thing malfunctioning; Holtzmann let out a vaguely agreeing noise as she shoved the stun gun in her pocket, then looked through the rest of the suitcase’s contents – a bulletproof vest she dismissed fairly quickly, a can of pepper spray which went into her other pocket, and a sort of metal bar with strangely regular dents, the item making Erin raise an eyebrow, her curiousness only growing when Holtzmann blushed at her look.

“I built that when I had my X-Men phase”, she still explained, “look. Come a bit closer.”

Thankful for the distraction from nearly having been killed, Erin moved closer, watching curiously how Holtzmann took hold of the thing, so that her fingers were curled into the dents on the metal bar; then, she moved her thumb to push a little button protruding from the side of the thing, and moments later, Erin gasped as short, but sharp blades slid out of the metal, positioned so that they protruded from between Holtzmann’s fingers, and making her shake her head when she realized what the blonde had been aiming for.

“You’ve been into Wolverine?” she wanted to know, raising an eyebrow, “I would have pegged you more for a Kitty Pride girl. How do you not cut yourself when they come out?”

“Dr Gilbert knows her X-Men, I’m impressed”, Holtzmann replied, smirking, her smirk only widening when Erin blushed visibly, “and I don’t cut myself because the edges are dull where they are close to my fingers, duh. Think I should bring this little bad boy along?”

“Can’t hurt”, Erin replied, eying the contraption; Holtzmann smirked at her, then pushed the button again, and the blades vanished, the metal bar vanishing into her pocket along with the pepper spray.

Erin briefly wondered why Holtzmann didn’t pack the bullet proof vest, but figured that the blonde knew what she was doing, and so she didn’t question her; and so far, she thought to herself, the culprit hadn’t shown a penchant for guns, but had used bombs both times they had tried to kill her, so perhaps, this was the way they worked and she didn’t need to worry about someone trying to shoot her.

“Okay, got it all”, Holtzmann said, distracting her from these thoughts, the suitcase vanishing beneath the couch again, “ready to go home?”

Erin nodded, even though she felt strangely comfortable in this little and cramped apartment; it looked more lived in than her own, quite sterile one, and felt more like a home, but she figured that staying there with Holtzmann wasn’t an option – not with so many possibly unstable items all around – and so, she let the blonde lead the way, following her back downstairs and to the car, catching herself looking around nervously as they walked out of the building, asking herself how long it would take until she’d be more paranoid than that and how she was supposed to handle this.

* * *

 

Erin had taken the medication for her anxiety before going to bed, but apparently, it hadn’t been enough; her sleep was plagued by nightmares, of blowing up cars, shadowy figures chasing her, letters exploding in her hands and tearing her apart, until she woke up with a strangled cry, tears streaming down her face as she lay gasping in the darkness.

“Erin?” she heard Holtzmann moments after the helpless sound had left her lips, the light in the hallway coming on and illuminating the blonde standing in the doorway to the bedroom, fully awake and even a bit tense as she looked around the dark bedroom, “are you alright?”

“Nightmare”, Erin brought out in a tiny, trembling voice, feeling another panic attack coming, but unable to stop it; her breath quickened, and sweat started to form on her brow, and within the blink of an eye, Holtzmann had moved to her side, crawling onto bed and, after briefly reassuring herself that it was okay, putting one arm around Erin’s shoulders, the physicist immediately slumping against her and taking in a deep, watery breath.

“It’s okay, you’re okay”, Holtzmann mumbled to her, rubbing her shoulder and upper arm soothingly, “you’re okay, you didn’t get hurt. Alright? I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

Erin gave her best to focus on her soothingly low voice, on the feeling of the other woman’s arm around her and on how good the tender rubbing felt; and to her relief, her racing heart slowed down as she concentrated on these things, and it got easier to breathe again, as well.

“Good”, Holtzmann picked up on these changes, pulling her even closer, until Erin’s head rested on her shoulder, “you’re doing great, Erin, perfect.”

“…I’m sorry”, Erin finally managed to say, looking up to meet her eyes, and even though she reminded herself again that she didn’t even know the redhead properly yet, Holtzmann’s heart clenched up at the tears which were now glistening in the other woman’s eyes, “I… I didn’t mean to wake you…”

“Nonsense”, Holtzmann replied at once, patting her shoulder briefly, “that’s part of the job. I’d be a bad bodyguard if I didn’t wake up to noises of dismay from you, you know?”

At this, Erin smiled weakly, and shrugged; she pointed out that, three days ago, she hadn’t even thought she’d ever _need_ a bodyguard, so she wasn’t all too familiar with the skills needed for this job, managing a slightly wider smile when Holtzmann let out a low chuckle in reply.

“Well, waking up when your client yelps or cries in the bedroom is part of the job, trust me on this”, she then said, “but you should try to get some more sleep now, especially if you want to go to work tomorrow.”

“Yes”, Erin mumbled, speaking on before she could overthink and perhaps talk herself out of it, “but, um… would you mind… staying?”

“Here?” Holtzmann asked, not sounding surprised, to her relief, but merely as if she was clarifying they were talking about the same thing, “in the bedroom, I mean?”

Erin nodded, blushing a bit, but not taking the request back; and to her relief, Holtzmann quickly nodded, as well, letting her know that she’d just turn off the light real quick and that they could go back to sleep then.

The physicist gave another nod at that, then watched how Holtzmann got up to switch off the light; and moments after the light had gone out, the blonde was back in bed with her, asking if she wanted her to hold her or if she should just lie down next to her.

“Um, if you don’t mind, holding would be good”, Erin mumbled, blushing yet again; Holtzmann told her it was no problem, then pulled her into a tender hold, the physicist resting her head on the other woman’s shoulder once more – and wondering if she had really heard the slight tremble in Holtzmann’s voice, or if she had imagined it, and, if it had been real, what it might have meant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keziah called it about the stun gun - congrats ;D


	8. Chapter 8

During the next few days, to Erin’s relief, no more attempts were made on her life; she got two more letters, regular ones without bombs attached this time, filled with quite colourful death threats and rather detailed descriptions about what the culprit wanted to do to her, bad enough to make her stomach turn, but not so bad that she would have thrown up again.

Holtzmann was there every second of those days, only leaving her side for toilet breaks; and even though she never would have thought she’d be able to stand having anyone in such close proximity to her for such an extended, constant period of time, Erin found herself not minding the blonde’s presence the slightest, only liking her more the more she got to know her.

She slowly opened up to the bodyguard, as well, telling her that, apart from Abby and Patty, she didn’t really have any friends, never having been good at making any; she was relieved to find that Holtzmann didn’t judge her for this, but simply nodding understandingly, and even told her, to her great joy, that they could go on being friends once the situation which had brought them together had been taken care of.

“I’d like that”, Erin had said to that, blushing yet again; by now though, a week after Holtzmann had started working as her bodyguard, she wasn’t sure anymore if she really did – not because she didn’t like the blonde anymore, but because she started liking her more than it was probably fitting for friendship, thinking back to that one night Holtzmann had spent in bed with her again and again, how good it had felt to be held by the bodyguard and how calming it had been to inhale her scent.

She found herself watching Holtzmann more and more, studying her whenever she could do so without the bodyguard noticing; she paid special attention to the blonde’s hands, often thinking to herself that her regular job as an engineer showed – she talked with her hands quite a bit, but the movements were always oddly graceful, barely fitting for her personality and attitude, and more often than not, Erin found herself wondering how it might feel to have these hands run over her body, caress her and touch her, ideally followed by Holtzmann’s lips doing the same.

Unbeknownst to her, Holtzmann was perfectly aware of how Erin watched her when the redhead thought she wasn’t noticing; it had been a while since she had done bodyguard work, but she had quickly realized that the old skills had been buried, and not unlearned, and they had come back to her quickly – and one of them was to be aware of her surroundings all the time, and so, she of course noticed Erin watching her, but told herself that acting on it would be stupid, what with the physicist practically being her client and in a vulnerable place at the time, as well, with someone out there who wanted to see her dead.

She kept telling herself this, that it wouldn’t be right and inappropriate to act on the feelings she started to develop for Erin frighteningly quickly; she figured that it had something to do with how much time they spent with each other, with her always being close to the physicist just in case someone would try something, and that certainly, these feelings would lessen again once the job would be done and she’d have a more or less normal friendship with the physicist.

For the moment though, Holtzmann knew that she had to stay close, the culprit still not having been caught; and so, she was there on Friday night, as well, when Abby, Patty and Erin went to the bar close to campus they were regulars at, Holtzmann not all too happy to learn that they did this every Friday night, pointing out that such routines made it easy for someone to target Erin and that perhaps, they should go to another place instead.

“If we don’t have at least one drink there, the barkeep will think that whoever is trying to kill me succeeded”, Erin pointed out, making Abby wince at the blasé way she said those words, “we can go somewhere else after that drink? Please? My whole life is kinda upside down right now, I’d like this bit of routine.”

“Fine”, Holtzmann agreed with a small sigh, annoyed at herself for not being able to tell Erin now; the way the physicist smiled at her after her agreement though and actually grabbed her arm as they walked to the bar made up for that, even though she did not miss the look Abby shot them both at the sight of Erin holding on to the smaller woman’s arm.

They went to the bar, where Erin casually introduced Holtzmann as her bodyguard, by now handling the fact that she actually _had_ a bodyguard with quite the ease; the blonde took note of Erin ordering an alcohol free cocktail, unlike her two friends, and did the same, explaining that she didn’t drink on the job when Erin gave her a curious look.

“Ah, that makes sense”, the redhead nodded as they sat down in one of the booths, side by side and Holtzmann positioned so that she could keep an eye on the rest of the bar, “I don’t drink cause it doesn’t mix well with my medication. It makes me loopy sometimes, or really silly.”

“We don’t want a loopy Erin”, Holtzmann solemnly replied, making the physicist giggle and nod; Abby looked at them curiously again at the giggle, but didn’t say anything, asking how the police work instead, and making Erin let out a huff before she told them that they didn’t know anything yet.

They talked about the unsuccessful police work for a bit longer, then moved on to other topics; and all too soon, Abby and Patty had finished their drinks, and, to Erin’s disappointment, told the other two that they were tired and would head home.

“I don’t want to go home yet”, the physicist decided, perfectly unaware that both Abby and Patty had been watching her interact with Holtzmann closely the whole time, had noted the way she looked at the blonde and the casual, but always tender touches of Holtzmann’s hand or arm, and had decided, during a brief trip to the bathroom together, that they would give them some time alone.

“Take me somewhere else?” Erin asked Holtzmann, the blonde having some idea of what the redhead’s friends were thinking, but not saying anything about it; she just nodded, then let her know that she knew a nice place not far from there, the happy smile on Erin’s face pushing aside any concerns about going there at this late hour aside.

“Lead the way, then”, she said, hooking her hand into the crook of Holtzmann’s arm again; and the blonde did just that, unobtrusively glancing around as they walked, making sure no one was following them, and keeping her free hand in her pocket, fingers loosely curled around the pepper spray, just in case.

Thankfully, nothing happened though, and they made it to the bar unscathed; there was quite the crowd, several couples on the dancefloor, grooving away to a fast number, and Erin’s eyes lit up as her grip on Holtzmann tightened a bit.

“I haven’t been dancing in ages”, she said, surprising Holtzmann – she hadn’t pegged her for a dancer – “dance with me?”

“Um, sure”, Holtzmann replied after a moment, a moment during which she had briefly debated with herself if it wouldn’t be safer to say no; to her delight, Erin let out a happy squeal, her hand sliding down the smaller woman’s arm so she could grasp her hand and practically drag her onto the dance floor, the bodyguard unable to hold back a smirk when the physicist got into the groove – she might not be the best dancer, Holtzmann thought to herself, but she certainly had fun.

They went through three fast songs together, and the way Erin smiled warmed Holtzmann’s heart more and more with every second ticking by; and just when she thought that soon, they would have to stop and get drinks, the DJ apparently had read her mind, since the song ended and another, much slower one began, Holtzmann recognizing the soft piano intro at once, Erin following suit a moment later, her eyes lighting up.

The light in the bar was dim, but good enough to let Holtzmann see her blush; then, she cleared her throat, too, but stepped closer to her, moving slowly and with hesitation as she put her hand on Holtzmann’s shoulder, the bodyguard answering her unasked question by moving hers to her waist.

Erin’s smile came back with full force, and it was like the sun breaking through after a week of rain; their free hands found each other, and they began moving slowly to the song, Erin singing along softly under her breath, just loud enough for Holtzmann to hear, her heart skipping a beat when she held her gaze as she sang about how everything she did, she did for her.

She wondered if Erin knew what she was doing to her with this, but had an idea that the physicist might not be completely clueless; there was a certain twinkle in her eyes, and her smile was soft and strangely knowing, and Holtzmann found herself completely captivated, unable to look away.

Without fully realizing what she was doing, she let her hand slide from Erin’s waist to her back and pulled her closer, and the redhead made quick use of this new position, letting go of Holtzmann’s other hand to clasp both of hers behind the blonde’s neck; they kept dancing for a while in this new position, so close to each other that Holtzmann could feel Erin’s breath on her cheeks… and just as the song reached its most emotional part, signalling that it was close to ending, Erin used the position of her hands to pull her even closer, until their lips met.

Holtzmann was fairly certain that fireworks were forbidden indoors, but she could have sworn that they went off somewhere in the background when Erin kissed her, or she kissed Erin, she didn’t really care who kissed whom first or if they simply kissed each other at the exact same moment; it was a somewhat innocent kiss, lips moving on lips, but it was the best she’d ever had, and she was honestly surprised that her heart didn’t give out by the time they pulled apart again, just as the song ended.

“…this might be a bad idea”, she mumbled, one hand coming up so she could gently run her thumb along Erin’s jawline, noting her shiver at the tender touch, “and I shouldn’t do this, but I don’t think I can go back to being friends after that kiss. Wow.”

“I don’t want to go back to being friends”, Erin told her, her voice firm and self-confident, “and I don’t care if it’s a bad idea. Kiss me again?”

The answer to that question came quickly, and in a way Erin very much liked – Holtzmann pulled her closer again, and they kissed once more, and at least for the moment, the fact that somewhere out there, there still was someone eager to see Erin dead was forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo Soundtrack for the fic! Kind of XD The song they are dancing to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGoWtY_h4xo


	9. Chapter 9

When she woke up in the next Saturday morning, Erin couldn’t recall the last time she had been so happy.

Certainly, she had been happy before, before the bomb and the death threats, when all the hard work she had done had paid off; this was a different kind of happy though, one which somehow went deeper than all other variations of this emotion she had felt in her life so far, one which made her feel… complete.

The kiss they had shared during their dance hadn’t been the only one; Erin wondered if they had traumatized the cab driver, with the way they had made out in the backseat, and once they’d arrived at her apartment, she’d pulled Holtzmann to the bedroom at once.

This hadn’t been the first time she’d taken a woman to her bedroom, but afterwards, as they had laid snuggled up to each other, Erin had realized that no one before, no matter if man or woman, had made her feel this way, so desired, and so beautiful; Holtzmann had looked at her as if she was the only person in the world, and had touched her with something close to reverence, fulfilling a longing Erin hadn’t even known she’d had until this very moment.

Now, the morning after, Holtzmann was still fast asleep next to her, snoring quietly; she laid on her stomach, her face smooshed against the pillow, said pillow muffling the snores even further, one arm draped over Erin’s waist while their legs were entangled in a way which made the physicist glad she didn’t need to get up, something which would have been impossible without waking the blonde.

She held back a content sigh, remembering how fast Holtzmann had been awake and aware whenever she’d made any sort of noise which could be interpreted as discomfort in her sleep – the bodyguard looked so relaxed and content as she slumbered, and Erin didn’t want to be the cause for her to wake up, getting comfortable again and closing her eyes, allowing herself to slip back into a light dose, glad that it was Saturday and that she had no obligations awaiting her.

For a while, Erin just laid there, not quite asleep, awake enough to feel Holtzmann breathe slowly and steadily next to her; she didn’t know how long it had been by the time the bodyguard let out a low grunt instead of a snore, but when she opened her eyes in response, her gaze met the blonde’s, and Holtzmann smiled at her, the way she looked at her impossibly making her happiness grow even further.

“Hi”, Holtzmann said, of all things; smiling, Erin turned slightly and propped her head up on one hand, making it easier to look at the blonde, her other hand moving to tenderly rub the other woman’s forearm as she replied. “Hi, back. Slept well?”

Holtzmann nodded, making Erin’s smile widen; she leaned in for a brief, but tender good morning kiss, giggling afterwards when the blonde lifted the blanket and peered at her naked body, reassuring her that of course, she was only doing her job, and made sure that the body she was supposed to guard was okay.

“The body is okay, but hungry”, Erin said once she had gotten the giggles under control again, “so what do you say, shower and then breakfast? There’s a café not far from here, they make an amazing pancake breakfast.”

“Oooh, pancakes”, Holtzmann let out, the way her eyes lit up making Erin giggle again; moments later though, the engineer grew serious again, briefly worrying the redhead that she was about to tell her that she shouldn’t get her hopes up, that this had been a sort of one night stand and wouldn’t happen again.

“Maybe not the best time to talk about this, right after waking up”, Holtzmann said, tone as serious as her face, only worrying Erin more, “but… Erin, I don’t want this to be a one-time thing. Or for it to end once there’s no need for me to guard you anymore.”

“Oh thank God”, Erin let out before she could stop herself, unable to hold back a smile, as well, “I thought you’re going to tell me now that this is some one-time thing for you. Cause I don’t want that, either.”

“Excellent”, Holtzmann smirked, the seriousness gone from one moment to the next; she leaned in for another kiss, then said “so, shower?” once they had pulled apart again, Erin smiling happily as well as she nodded, getting out of bed afterwards, Holtzmann following suit, the couple making their way to the bathroom together, both of them feeling relaxed and content, now that the state of their relationship had been made clear so easily.

* * *

 

Only after they’d had a – truly amazing – breakfast at the café, Erin checked her phone for the first time that day, as they walked out of the café; she saw that she’d gotten a text from Abby earlier in the morning and, curious what her friend might want on a Saturday, pushed the button to display it, the groan she let out and the way her cheeks flushed a lovely shade of crimson prompting Holtzmann to give her a questioning look.

“Abby”, she just groaned, showing the phone to the blonde; taking it, Holtzmann took a step back to make room for two pedestrians, smirking at how short and blunt the message was. _Got lucky last night?_

“Well, she certainly is direct”, Holtzmann then said, handing the phone back to her as they started walking, back to her apartment, “what are you going to write back?”

“Not sure”, Erin replied, letting the phone slide back into her bag before she took Holtzmann’s hand, “think it would be too tacky to write back that I got luckier than I ever imagined?”

“Aw, no”, Holtzmann smiled, “that is sweet. Bet she’ll…” She trailed off, slowing down and stiffening; worried, Erin matched her speed to the blonde’s, just opening her mouth to ask if everything was alright – when they rounded the corner up ahead and the two men Holtzmann had let pass a minute ago were there, one of them going straight for the engineer while the other targeted Erin.

Holtzmann reacted purely on instincts which had been buried for a while, but came back to full function with ease; the man going after her clearly hadn’t expected much of a fight from her, and so, he was very unpleasantly surprised when she ducked his first hit with ease, then shot forward in one fluid motion, ramming her shoulder into his gut, his breath leaving him with an audible huff.

Not wasting a second, Holtzmann’s hand shot into her pocket, briefly touched the pepper spray, dismissed it because Erin was too close, and grabbed the metal bar instead; she didn’t pop the blades, she wanted to stun the guy, not injure him badly, but the piece of metal let her put more weight into the punch, and she slammed her fist against the side of the man’s head, ignoring the flash of pain from her knuckles, darkly satisfied when he staggered away and looked dazed.

Dismissing him for now, Holtzmann turned, just in time to see the other man slam Erin against the building behind her, his hands coming up to close around her throat; Erin’s eyes were wide and scared, and that was all Holtzmann needed to throw caution to the wind, moving in quickly and kicking the hollow of the man’s knee, thankful for her steel-toed boots and the extra impact they had when the man let out a yelp and involuntarily let go of the physicist.

His leg buckled, and Holtzmann didn’t give him the chance to recover; she kicked him again, in the other knee this time, and when he went down, quickly moved to stand between Erin and him, just in case, telling her to call the police, then slammed her fist against the man’s head, taking him out of the fight as effectively as his companion, but punching him once more for good measure, just so he wouldn’t get any ideas while the police was on the way.

Erin’s hands shook, but she still managed, somehow, to fast-dial the cell of the officer who was supposed to keep an eye her; she asked herself where exactly that person was, if they hadn’t seen the attack happening, only to hear a phone ringing nearby as a man came running to where Holtzmann and she were standing.

“I’m so sorry”, he panted, giving the bodyguard reason to doubt his fitness; the man who had attacked her apparently realized the danger and, sadly, had recovered enough by then to run away, but his buddy wasn’t so lucky, the officer grabbing and handcuffing him before he could do more than try to straighten up.

“You’re not going anywhere”, he told the man, who still looked dazed, “except to the police station for questioning. Dr Gilbert, I’m so terribly sorry I wasn’t faster…”

“Good thing I was around”, Holtzmann gave back when Erin didn’t reply, moving closer to the redhead and putting one arm around her shoulders as she asked her in a low voice if she was okay or if she had been hurt; Erin shook her head, her eyes coming up to meet the engineer’s, completely ignoring the policeman.

“Just… shocked”, Erin mumbled, the officer noting how she moved closer to Holtzmann, but not commenting on it, “you… you took care of him before he could do any damage. Thank you.”

“Part of the job”, Holtzmann replied, rubbing her back soothingly, “just glad you didn’t get hurt. Come on, let’s go home.”

Erin nodded, barely acknowledging the officer when he spoke up again and said that the police would contact them once there was anything new; Holtzmann was the one who nodded, and the man still looked uncomfortable when he led the attacker away.

“At least he felt bad about slacking off”, Holtzmann commented once the man was out of earshot, “bet he was getting donuts or something.”

Her little dig at the officer’s sense of duty had the effect she’d been hoping for – Erin managed a weak smile, and another nod when Holtzmann asked if she was ready to go home, the blonde keeping her arm around Erin’s shoulders as they started to walk, quietly reassuring her that she was there and that she wouldn’t let anyone hurt her.


	10. Chapter 10

“You were quite impressive, you know”, Erin mumbled quite some time later, after Holtzmann had made sure that she truly hadn’t been hurt and had made her tea with honey for her throat, “I get it now why you said that not looking like a bodyguard is a good thing. I bet those guys didn’t expect you to kick their asses like that…”

She trailed off, remembering how Holtzmann had punched both men in the head; she’d thrown a few punches in her youth, to her endless embarrassment whenever Abby brought that up, and now that her shock was fading, she thought back to how much it actually had hurt to slam her fist into someone’s jaw, Holtzmann looking a bit alarmed at how fast Erin put the tea down all at once, only to feel relieved again when the physicist moved slightly on the couch so she could take tender hold of her hand and she realized what Erin was doing.

“Oh no”, the redhead let out, as she got a closer look at the bodyguard’s hand; her knuckles were already bruising, an angry blue and purple which spread from her knuckles over her fingers and the back of her hand, “Holtz, your poor hand!”

“Ah I’ll live”, Holtzmann replied, flexing her fingers as if to prove her point, only to grimace at the pain this sent through her hand, Erin noticing at once and giving her a strict look.

“You got hurt more than I did!” she then said, shaking her head, “stay right here, I’ll be right back.”

Taking care of Holtzmann gave her something to do, something to keep her mind off of what had happened; she moved to her kitchen, finding a tray of ice cubes in the fridge and letting half of them drop onto a dishtowel, carefully wrapping them up in said towel before she returned to the couch, sitting down next to Holtzmann and pretty much ordering her to hold out her hand.

“Cold”, Holtzmann whined when Erin wrapped the towel around her hand, making sure that the ice would be positioned over the bruising, “oh, so cold. Wow, I think my lips will turn blue. Cooooold.”

“I’ll kiss your lips better”, Erin replied, smiling a bit when she earned a bright grin from the blonde for that; a moment later though, Holtzmann grew serious again, frowning as she looked down at the towel which now covered her hand, before her eyes came up again to meet Erin’s once more, her voice thoughtful when she spoke up again.

“You know, that makes no sense”, she pondered out loud, “at first, whoever wants you dead tries with a letter bomb and that bomb in your car, but now, they send some random thugs to beat you? Or kill you? You’d think they’d have guns or at least knives. And that’s such a difference to the bomb thing.”

“Well, the bomb thing, as you put it, didn’t work”, Erin pointed out, not feeling exactly comfortable talking about this, but figuring that it had to be done, “so maybe they changed their method? You’re right though, while I am glad that they had no knife or gun, it would have made sense for them to bring one… unless it was a random mugging, and not connected to the someone-wants-me-dead thing at all.”

“Possible, but I don’t think so”, Holtzmann gave back, frowning thoughtfully, “that guy didn’t even try to grab your bag, he went straight for your throat. And the one who went after me, he didn’t try to get my wallet or anything, either.”

“Well, you beat him up pretty quickly”, Erin pointed out, “but I’m afraid you’re right. Maybe they gave up on the bomb thing… that doesn’t make me feel better, I can’t start worrying that everyone I meet is a hired hand, ready to attack me.”

“Hey”, Holtzmann gave back, moving her uninjured hand to grasp Erin’s, “don’t. Once you start going down that road, you’ll end up hiding away in here forever, and then whoever is trying to do this to you has won. I won’t let anything happen to you, I promise.”

“I know”, Erin replied, leaving Holtzmann a bit unsure if she knew about the first part she had said or that she wouldn’t let anything happen to her, only to clarify this moments later, before the bodyguard had to ask, “about both these things, I mean. I don’t want you to get hurt either, though, and here you sit with your hand all bruised.”

“My hand’s gonna be fine”, Holtzmann dismissed, smiling at the frown which furrowed Erin’s brow in response, “don’t worry about it. The important thing is that you’re okay, Patty would have my head if I let anything happen to you, and I think she’s strong enough to twist it right off my shoulders. And if not, I’d help her.”

“That was oddly sweet”, Erin told her, earning another smile; she smiled back at the blonde, then leaned in for a kiss, a content hum coming from her as their lips met.

“You know”, Holtzmann mumbled after the kiss, “I was told to never… get involved like that with a client. But I don’t care, and it only makes me want to protect you more, so we can be together in peace once this is over.”

“I like the way you think”, the physicist let her know, making her smile again; Erin smiled back at her, then leaned in for another kiss, one which quickly deepened as she didn’t allow herself to think of the fact that there had been yet another attempt on her life, but focused fully on Holtzmann and how good the blonde was making her feel, telling herself that, as long as she had Holtzmann, everything would be just fine.

* * *

 

The rest of Saturday was spent calmly at Erin’s home; and by the time dawn came over New York, Holtzmann had managed to almost make her forget about this new attack, keeping her from thinking about it the whole day, simply with her presence and the way she always seemed to know what to say to distract Erin when the images of the men attacking both of them came up back in her mind.

The only interruption of their calm time was when Holtzmann’s phone rang, and it turned out to be Officer Hernandez; the police had finished interrogating the man who had been arrested for attacking Erin, and he finally, after hours of being asked the same questions over and over again, had given in and had told them what little he had known.

He had been hired, he had said, by some middle-aged guy in a bar, together with his buddy; they had been given a picture of Erin, and had been told where she lived, and that there might be some “annoying blonde” with her – and they had been tasked with hurting her, but not killing her, at least according to what the man had told the police.

Once all that information had been given to the bodyguard, she thanked the officer, then ended the call and filled Erin in on what she had been told; the physicist frowned at the last bit about how the men had been supposed to hurt her, but not kill her, the thoughtful look on her face prompting Holtzmann to give her a questioning look, the blonde not asking though, figuring that Erin would tell her once she’d sorted through it in her mind.

“Maybe”, the redhead finally did speak up, “they just were supposed to hurt me so I’d be forced to stay home from Columbia. Then they could try attacking and killing me here. Does that make sense? Also, the award ceremony is next Friday, maybe they want to keep me away from that?”

“Possible”, Holtzmann nodded, “but, well, that not so amazing plan failed. The police is trying to find out now who hired them, but Hernandez thinks that whoever it was isn’t the actual person who wants you dead, but a sort of middle man. Which would be the smart thing to do.”

“At least they have a clue now”, Erin sighed, while Holtzmann nodded and pocketed her phone again, then sat down on the couch next to her – to Erin’s slight amusement, she apparently was incapable of talking on the phone without pacing the room, having walked up and down in her living room for the whole conversation with the police – and put one arm around her, pulling her closer, smiling at how the redhead immediately relaxed against her.

“Hopefully that clue will lead somewhere”, she said, making Erin nod, “but, until then, you’ll have me to protect you.”

“I know”, Erin mumbled, raising her head again to look at her; she thought back to how fierce Holtzmann had been when she had fought these men, and even though she thought that this perhaps was a bit weird, the memory oddly warmed her heart, prompting her to pull the bodyguard close for another kiss, all at once convinced that everything would be okay, just like Holtzmann had said.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I took a few liberties with the award ceremony, no idea if they do happen like this in real life. Freedom of fanfic! XD

To Erin’s relief, the days until the award ceremony passed quickly and without incident; she received several more congratulatory letters for her nomination, people stopped her in the hallways to ask if she was nervous and if she thought she’d win, and even Filmore was somewhat nice to her – even though he still looked at Holtzmann every time as if she was something the cat had dragged in, making Erin wonder how he might react, once he’d learn that they were actually a couple now and that Holtzmann wouldn’t be gone the moment whoever was after her had been found and arrested.

To the physicist’s dismay, the police had made no progress about actually doing that though; they had found the middle man who had hired the thugs at the bar, but so far, that man was refusing to talk, not giving them any information about who had hired him, and a thorough search of his home hadn’t brought anything useful to light, either.

Holtzmann kept telling her that it’d be okay, that he’d talk sooner or later and then, they would know who had been after her, and would find them and lock them up; and since no more attempts to kill Erin were made, she allowed herself to relax more and more with every passing day, at least until the halfway point of the week – then she started getting nervous about the upcoming ceremony.

Holtzmann, by then, had developed a sort of sixth sense for when that nervousness was threatening to turn into anxiety and from there, panic, and she always was quick to comfort Erin then, reassure her that it’d be okay, that the ceremony would be go fine, and more often than not, she managed to calm Erin down again fairly quickly.

Abby and Patty were there once to witness her do so, and afterwards, Abby took Erin aside and told her how happy she was for her, and how lucky she was to have found someone like Holtzmann; Erin agreed whole-heartedly, unable to stop smiling for an hour afterwards, happy that her closest – and only – friends approved of the woman she now called her girlfriend.

One time, they ran into Phil while holding hands, and he had looked sufficiently miffed; and afterwards, Holtzmann commented on how his assumption on her first day at Columbia with Erin that they were sleeping together had turned out to be correct, only a bit belated, and Erin had giggled so hard that she’d had ended up wheezing for breath.

Thanks to Holtzmann’s constant presence, her jokes and comfort, and Abby and Patty making sure to keep Erin distracted, as well, the days until Friday passed quickly; and sooner than the physicist would have liked, Friday had actually arrived, and she had finished getting ready for the award ceremony, asking Holtzmann how she looked for what felt like the hundredth time.

“Stunning”, Holtzmann reassured her, giving her an appreciative look – fitting for the formal event, Erin had chosen a classic black, ankle-length dress, had put her hair up and applied some light make-up, and she looked positively stunning to the blonde.

“Every guy there is going to be envious that I get to be with you”, she added, smiling as she put the finishing touch on her attire for the evening, in form of knotting her tie; feeling nervous, but a bit calmer, Erin smiled, then stepped closer to her, running her hand over the soft fabric of the bodyguard’s black suit, the tie of the same colour and the white button-down shirt for the first time making her look like Erin always had imagined a bodyguard would look.

“All you need to complete that is a pair of sunglasses”, she giggled, making Holtzmann smirk, “but I figure your yellow ones do count, too. So, um, shall we?”

“After you, my dear”, Holtzmann replied, gesturing towards the door with a flourish; Erin smiled and stepped out of the apartment first, Holtzmann right behind her, tucking her cell phone into the inner pocket of her jacket while Erin locked the door.

By now, checking her car before they got into it had pretty much become second nature to Holtzmann, and Erin waited patiently until the blonde was done and deemed the vehicle safe; the drive to the venue where the ceremony would be held was uneventful, Holtzmann found a parking spot quickly, and offered her arm the moment they had gotten out of the car, figuring that the physicist could use some more calming down, and from the way Erin immediately held on to her, that assumption had been quite correct.

They met Abby and Patty at the front door, as they had agreed they would, both women gushing over how good they looked together; Filmore was standing a few feet away, nodding stiffly at them, taking note of the way Erin held Holtzmann’s arm, in a way which certainly had nothing to do with client and bodyguard, the way he raised an eyebrow making it quite clear to Erin that finally, he had figured it out.

If he had anything to say about their relationship though, he kept it to himself, just congratulated her on the nomination once more, even though he sounded somewhat stiff even now; Erin thanked him with a polite smile, then the four women went to find their seats, Erin fidgeting nervously in hers once she had sat down.

Reaching over, Holtzmann grasped her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze, earning a brief, grateful look from the redhead; she whispered “it’s gonna be fine, babe” to Erin, glad when that earned her a smile way more genuine than the one Erin had given Filmore, and then the lights in the hall dimmed and the spotlight on stage came on, the host walking up to the podium to the polite applause of the guests and nominees.

“This is as if we’re at the Emmy’s”, Holtzmann whispered to Erin, forcing her to hold back a giggle, “you’d think a prize for accomplishments in science would be more dignified.”

“Even scientists like a spectacle”, Erin whispered back, blushing when someone made shushing noises behind her; Holtzmann turned in her seat to grin brightly at the person who had made the noise, and saluted them, prompting Erin to hiss “Holtz!” as she lightly swatted at her, and making her sit in a more regular way again while the host began to talk.

There was quite a bit of an intro speech, and soon, Holtzmann was getting bored – technically, as an engineer, she figured she should be interested in this, but found herself unable to focus on the man’s droning tone of voice, making her wonder more than once if he was actually a man or some sort of robot.

Her phone vibrating in her pocket distracted her, and she was glad that she had thought of putting it on mute; she wouldn’t have minded having every eye in the room on her when it started blaring the Back to the Future theme, but Erin certainly would have been embarrassed, and the last thing Holtzmann wanted was to embarrass the physicist, in front of all these people Erin saw as her peers.

As unobtrusively as possible, she pulled the phone out of her pocket, just enough to look at it; it was Hernandez calling, and she frowned, wondering if the police had made more progress or if perhaps, the culprit had been arrested, figured though that it could wait, not wanting to make Erin feel anxious and self-conscious by getting up and going outside to talk on the phone.

The vibrating stopped as the call went to her voicemail – and then started up again, making the blonde frown as she wondered if Hernandez would call her again right away instead of leaving a message.

Simultaneously, the man finished talking, and began listing the nominees for the first prize which would be given out that evening; it was the one Erin was nominated for, too, and Holtzmann ignored her phone for another moment to applaud with fervour when her name was said, smirking at the “Woohoo!” she heard from Patty, Erin blushing prettily at the historian’s sound.

While the rest of the nominees were read out, Holtzmann quickly pulled out her phone and wrote a short text to the officer – _At the ceremony, can’t talk, text me_ – then put it back into her pocket; she felt Erin grasp her hand nervously as the man on stage opened the envelope holding the winner’s name with quite the flourish, pulling the folded sheet of paper out and clearing his throat before he leaned towards the microphone.

“And the J. J. Sakurai Prize for outstanding work in particle physics goes to”, he began, while Erin gripped Holtzmann’s hand tighter, and swallowed heavily, only to nearly fall out of her chair when the guy continued after a dramatic pause, “Dr Erin Gilbert, Columbia University!”

“Oh my God”, Erin squeaked, while Holtzmann let out a “Yes!” and Abby and Patty cheered audibly, as well; the rest of the audience applauded when Erin rose from her seat, and even though she usually didn’t like it to have all the attention on her, she smiled brightly as she carefully moved out of the row of seats, then down the middle aisle to the stage.

By the time she reached said stage and climbed the few stairs leading up to it, her smile was as bright as the spotlights; before Holtzmann could appreciate this as much as it would deserve to be appreciated though, her phone vibrated again, two shorts buzzes this time, showing that a text message had arrived.

Now frowning again, thinking that it had to be important after all, the bodyguard pulled out the phone and pushed the button which displayed the message; and second later, her blood ran cold and her eyes went wide as she saw the few words Hernandez had sent, just a minute too late.

_Get her out of there NOW. It’s Filmore._


	12. Chapter 12

Holtzmann didn’t waste any time by trying to spot Filmore and figure out if it really was him, and if he was about to do something; she’d rather tackle Erin to the ground on stage for no good reason than take too long to react and have her get hurt, and so, she practically shot up from her seat and, not caring if she kicked anyone or stepped on some toes, hurried out of the row of seats, then ran down the centre aisle, people staring and whispering, both the host and Erin up on stage freezing in mid-movement – the man had just been about to hand over the physical trophy for the prize – and staring at her.

Somewhere, Holtzmann found another boost of speed, and ran even faster; she took the few stairs leading up to the stage two at a time, ignoring when the host yelled at her, demanding to know what she thought she was doing, her boots thumping on the wooden floorboards as she ran towards Erin, and now she saw Filmore, too, sitting right there in the front row – and saw the glint of metal in his hand as he pulled something from the inner pocket of his jacket.

She had a moment to regret that she had underestimated the situation, and hadn’t put on her bullet proof vest; and then, Filmore aimed the gun, and she threw herself forward, in front of Erin, just when he squeezed the trigger and fired two times in quick succession.

The shots were loud, and clearly audible over the startled murmuring and the yelping of the host; Erin saw Holtzmann flinch in front of her, and then the blonde stumbled back and against her, and Erin felt as if she had been shoved into a nightmare when she tried to catch her and saw the red blooming on her shirt, the world greying around the edges as the truth of what just had happened hit her.

“Holtzmann”, she heard herself say through numb lips, simultaneously trying to get a secure hold on her and lowering her to the ground when the blonde’s legs buckled beneath her, “no, Jesus, no, Holtzmann!”

Tears blurred her sight, but not enough, not enough to spare her the sight of crimson spreading on Holtzmann’s shirt; Filmore had fired twice, and both bullets had hit, blood trickling from the holes in the shirt and jacket, one at the shoulder, one at the bodyguard’s mid-section, her breathing harsh and pained as she laid in Erin’s arms.

“Holtz”, she said again, telling herself that she had to keep her awake until the ambulance had arrived and could help her, “Holtz, please, don’t… Stay with me, come on, look at me. Look at me, please.”

“Told you”, Holtzmann rasped in reply, Erin’s heart clenching up all over again, while someone in the crowd yelled for an ambulance and another man claimed to be let through because he was a doctor, an actual medical doctor, “told you I wouldn’t let you get hurt.”

“Yes, yes, you did”, Erin gave back, not even fully realizing what she was saying, just eager to keep her awake, her fear and panic reaching new heights when she felt the blonde shudder in her arms, “you kept your promise, I’m not hurt, but now I need you to stay with me, okay? Holtz, please stay with me, please…”

She felt Holtzmann shudder again, and her breathing grew even more erratic; and then, Erin felt as if all the air had been sucked out of the room when she felt Holtzmann’s body going limp, her panic reaching new heights as she tightened her grip on the blonde, unable to keep the fear and hysteria out of her voice anymore.

“Holtzmann, no”, she brought out, the tears streaming down her cheeks now, “no, stay with me. Stay with me! Holtz!”

She fought the urge to pull her closer, telling herself that it couldn’t be good to move her; Holtzmann let out a horrifyingly shaky breath in reply, then her eyes closed despite her tries to keep them open, the shock and blood loss taking its toll, the last thing she heard before everything went dark and quiet being Erin’s panicked cry of “Holtz, no. Holtz! _Jillian!_ ”… and then the world was gone.

* * *

 

Erin had spent the time since they had arrived at the hospital staring at her hands. She had washed them once Abby had taken her there, had washed off the blood and had watched the pinkish water swirl down the drain; it had taken her shockingly long to wash it all off, and even now, there were traces left, rust-coloured beneath her fingernails.

There was blood on her dress, too, drying there and making the fabric stiff; and there had been blood on the stage once the ambulance men had arrived, had gotten done with what first aid they had been able to give Holtzmann, and had moved her onto the stretcher.

_So much blood,_ Erin thought to herself as she sat in the uncomfortable plastic chair; up to this moment, she’d thought that she had no tears left to cry, but then she thought back to all the blood, to Holtzmann bleeding in her arms, there’d even been a splash of blood on one yellow lens of the bodyguard’s glasses, and she started to cry again, burying her face in her hands.

“Erin”, she heard Abby from her left, followed by a calming hand rubbing her back; she had been so focused on staring at her hands that she had forgotten Abby was even there, Patty, she now remembered, having gone off to find them something to drink, “Erin, honey. She’s going to be okay.”

“I didn’t tell her”, Erin whispered in reply, raising her head again to look at Abby, the pain and fear in her expression making the researcher’s heart clench up, “I didn’t tell her how much she means to me, what if she won’t be okay, what if she dies and I didn’t tell her how much I…”

“Hush”, Abby interrupted her, not unkindly, moving to pull her into a somewhat clumsy embrace, a task made quite difficult by the fact that they were sitting next to each other, “don’t think like that. She’ll be okay, and then you can tell her everything, alright? You heard what Patty said, she’s a tough cookie, she’ll be fine.”

Erin wiped at her eyes in reply, wanting to believe her, but finding it so difficult; Abby kept her arm around her, and rubbed her back soothingly, and a short while later, Patty came back with bottles of water and small plastic cups of tea, the women just sitting there in silence then as the hours ticked by, Abby and Patty giving Erin as much comfort as they could as they waited for Holtzmann to come out of surgery.


	13. Chapter 13

Erin wasn’t aware how long they had been sitting and waiting by the time the doctor finally approached, asking if they were there for Dr Jillian Holtzmann; she made herself nod, barely daring to look the man in the face, frightened of what she might see once her eyes would meet his, afraid that she’d see sympathy and pity, and that she’d be told a moment later that Holtzmann had died on the table.

She was so convinced that she’d be told just this that, when the doctor said that Holtzmann was stable, she was convinced for a moment that she had heard him wrong.

“We have Dr Holtzmann in intensive care now”, the elder man went on, Erin’s eyes coming up at last to look at him, to reassure herself that he was honest and not playing some kind of cruel prank, “but we are very positive that she’ll make a full recovery. Both bullets have been found and removed, and…”

The doctor kept talking, but Erin found herself unable to listen any further, her relief blocking out everything else; she let out a shuddery breath and buried her face in her hands again, the doctor trailing off as he looked at her in worry.

“It’s okay”, Abby took over, moving her hand to rub Erin’s back again, “Holtz is Erin’s girlfriend, so she’s a bit overwhelmed.”

“I want to see her”, Erin brought out, her voice trembling, only for her heart to plummet all the way to her stomach at the way the doctor looked uncomfortable all at once.

“Um, well”, he started, appearing nervous, and only more so at the look which appeared on Abby’s face, “technically, we’re only supposed to let family members at the ICU, I’m sure you understand…”

“No, she doesn’t”, Abby snapped, while Patty crossed her arms over her chest and gave the man a glare, “would you say the same if she was Eric, Holtzmann’s boyfriend?”

“Actually, yes”, the doctor defended himself, “ _boyfriend_ is not included in the hospital’s definition of next of kin. Seeing this… unique situation though, I imagine we can make an exception. I can’t let you see her longer than twenty minutes for now though, Dr Gilbert, please understand.”

“Of course, yes”, Erin gave back, just glad that she’d be able to see her partner; the doctor smiled at her, then asked her to follow him, and as she let him lead the way, she heard Patty say “Holtzmann’s boyfriend? That sounded so wrong”, and found herself smiling despite the fear which still weighed heavy on her heart, reminding herself of what the doctor had said and that soon, Holtzmann would be alright again.

* * *

 

When she entered the room, Erin felt close to tears again, reminding herself that Holtzmann would be alright as she slowly moved over to the bed; if she hadn’t known this though, she might have thought that her partner had died, after all, with how pale Holtzmann was, almost as white as the sheet she laid on, and how still she laid in that bed.

The noise the chair made when Erin pulled it over to the bed briefly drowned out the steady beating of the heart monitor and the soft hiss of the machine which helped Holtzmann breathe; that she needed one of those only pushed Erin closer to the edge, and she swallowed heavily, trying to hold back her tears, not wanting to spend the twenty minutes she had crying, not quite sure if Holtzmann could hear her.

“Hey”, she still said, sitting down, wishing that she could take Holtzmann’s hand, but not daring to – there was a needle stuck into the back of said hand, and from that, a thin tube let to a bag with some sort of transparent liquid in it, and Erin’s own hands shook too much to let her risk it, she didn’t want to imagine what it might do if she’d accidentally poke that needle or even end up ripping it out.

“The doctor said you’ll make a full recovery”, she mumbled after just studying her in silence for a minute, “and until you made it there, I promise I’ll be right here next to this bed, every second I can, until you can go back home again. I’m so glad you’ll be okay.”

Now she dared to reach out after all, and briefly touched Holtzmann’s hand; it dismayed her how cold and clammy the skin felt, even at this short contact, and she pulled back quickly again, taking another look at her bodyguard afterwards, even though she wasn’t quite sure that Holtzmann still needed to be her guard, after all, they knew who had been after her, and certainly, Filmore would be arrested soon, if that hadn’t happened already.

It shocked Erin quite a bit that it had been Filmore, someone she had respected and had thought that this feeling was mutual; she wondered what sort of reason he’d give for doing this once they’d arrest him, if it’d be something even remotely coherent or if it’d turn out to be the ramblings of a madman who had hidden his insanity for all too long.

Then, she decided that in the end, she didn’t care, as long as he’d be put away and couldn’t try to hurt Holtzmann or her anymore; now that she knew what to expect, it didn’t startle her anymore that the blonde’s skin was cold and clammy, and she took careful hold of the other woman’s fingers, making sure to keep her hand away from the needle, not quite sure what Holtzmann was given through it, but figuring that it had to be important.

Part of her wished that Holtzmann would wake up, so she could reassure herself that her partner really would be okay; another, bigger part knew though that the bodyguard would be in dreadful pain, should she wake up right now, so shortly after surgery, and so, Erin kept quiet and just sat there, holding her hand until the door opened quietly behind her and the doctor poked his head in, telling her in a low voice that her twenty minutes were over and that he had to ask her to leave now.

Nodding, Erin got up from the seat, then, not caring what the watching man might think, bent over Holtzmann’s lifeless form and gently kissed her on the forehead; she whispered “I’ll be back tomorrow” to her before she left the room, taking one look back at the unconscious engineer before she closed the door, feeling a bit better now that she had seen Holtzmann and knew for sure that she’d be okay.


	14. Chapter 14

Erin came to the hospital again right in the next morning, and was somewhat surprised to find Holtzmann awake and aware when she entered the room; her doctor was checking on the blonde, nodding a brief greeting to Erin, then went back to his work, the physicist briefly relieved that the bandages covering most of Holtzmann’s upper body apparently had been changed already, sparing her from getting a good look at the injuries.

Holtzmann’s eyes met hers, and even though she still was unsettlingly pale, and clearly in pain, the blonde smiled weakly at her; the sight was enough to almost make Erin cry with relief, and she bravely bit back her tears, returning the smile, then just stood there a bit awkwardly as she waited for the doctor to get done and leave.

At least though, she apparently had walked in when the man had been almost done, since she didn’t need to wait for long; it just took a few more minutes, then the doctor said that everything looked good and, after another nod at Erin, left the room, gently closing the door behind himself.

“Hi”, Erin said the moment she had heard the latch click, moving over to the bed; Holtzmann gave her another weak smile in reply, her voice frighteningly weak and hoarse when she mumbled “Hi, back”, and once again, Erin had to fight back her tears as she moved to sit next to the bed.

“You know”, she brought out while she grasped Holtzmann’s hand, relieved that her girlfriend’s skin was warmer and less clammy to the touch now, “if I had known you’d take it so literal, I wouldn’t have chosen a song which has the line _I’d die for you_ for our first kiss.”

“Well, I didn’t die”, Holtzmann pointed out, her smile widening a bit, Erin’s attempt to lighten the mood and keep herself from crying having worked out, the physicist giving her a strict look, simultaneously squeezing her hand though, her voice much kinder than her expression when she replied.

“And I’m very, _very_ happy that you didn’t”, she let the blonde know, squeezing her hand once more, “and that you’ll be fine again, in a while. You mean so much to me, the thought that you might have died…”

She fell silent, once more biting back tears, scolding herself for this – here she was, a sniffling wreck, giving Holtzmann reason to comfort her, while Holtzmann was the one who had been badly hurt, and certainly was in quite a bit of pain, so she should be comforting the engineer, and not the other way round.

“I’m sorry”, she thus said, wiping at her eyes, “I should be comforting you, and not sit here crying, I’m sorry…”

“Hey, no”, Holtzmann replied, managing another smile, even though Erin’s assumption that she was in pain hadn’t been wrong – they had given her painkillers, but they hadn’t been enough to completely numb the pain, and she could feel the wounds throb beneath the clean white bandages, “don’t feel bad. And don’t apologize.”

“You saved my life”, Erin mumbled in response, glad that she finally had gotten the urge to cry under control, “again. I can’t thank you enough for this, I don’t know how I can ever repay you for this.”

“You don’t have to repay me”, Holtzmann told her, feeling Erin squeeze her hand yet again, “I’m just glad you didn’t get hurt. As I said, Patty would have had my head if anything had happened to you.”

Erin smiled slightly at that, then leaned closer to the blonde for a tender kiss; and when Erin’s lips met hers, Holtzmann forgot all about her pain for a few wonderful moments, the happy look on her face mirrored by the physicist when she pulled back again, the two smiling at each other as they revelled in the fact that they had each other and that soon, Holtzmann would be fine again.

* * *

 

There was a certain spring to Erin’s step as she walked from her last class that day down the hallway leading to the building’s exit; colleagues smiled at her in greeting, as she had learned the past few weeks, the drama of nearly getting shot by the former dean of Columbia, and of having her partner take the bullets for her, had given her popularity an odd boost, and even though Erin wasn’t quite sure what to think of this, she appreciated the fact that the men and women she worked with often asked her how Holtzmann was doing, appreciating the interest they took in the woman who had saved her life.

They asked about Holtzmann now, too, and Erin happily told them that she was on her way to pick her up, because she’d be released from the hospital today; she smiled at the thought of taking Holtzmann home with her, looking forward to a quiet evening at her home with the engineer, with take-out and snuggles on the couch and perhaps, if Holtzmann felt up to it, something going a bit farther than snuggling later in the evening.

Nobody ever asked about Filmore, Erin noted, people apparently not caring about his reasons, just glad that he had been arrested and would spend a long time in jail; and she was somewhat glad that no one asked, the things he had said about her and what he wanted to do to her still making her stomach turn, even now, a month after he had been taken to jail.

She forced the thoughts about Filmore aside as she pushed the door open and stepped outside – and a moment later, her eyes went wide and her smile widened even further as she saw Holtzmann lean comfortably against a lamppost at the bottom of the stairs, the way the blonde smiled back at her making her heart speed up in excitement.

“Holtz!” she called out, nearly dropping her bag in her excitement as she hurried down the stairs, “I thought I was going to pick you up!”

“Surprise”, Holtzmann smirked, opening her arms; Erin wanted nothing more than to practically jump her, but they had been told that there still might be some pain from the bullet wounds even if Holtzmann was allowed to go home, and so, she held the urge back and just hugged her without jumping instead, a content sigh coming from her when she felt the blonde’ arms wrap around her.

There had been hugs in the hospital, too, of course, especially once Holtzmann actually had been allowed to get out of bed and walk around in the little garden a bit with Erin; this was different though, this was Holtzmann back on her feet for real, not just for a little while, and fully fine again, and all at once, Erin felt somewhat overwhelmed with happiness and joy.

She pulled back from the hug, not fully, just enough so she could look at the engineer – before she moved one hand to cup her jaw and kissed her, for the first time in her life truly not caring what anyone might think of this public display.

And it was more than not caring, Erin realized as the kiss continued; it was a need to show everyone that _this_ was her girlfriend, the woman who had not only saved her life, but had made it so much better, was making her so much happier than she ever had thought she would be.

She pulled back from the kiss, heart racing in her chest, cheeks flushed; and before she could stop herself, she breathed “I love you” to the blonde, the first time she said what she had been thinking for so long already; and from how Holtzmann’s face lit up, she hadn’t quite been expecting to hear these words in this very moment, but was overjoyed that they had been said, her embrace tightening around the physicist as she held her gaze.

“I love you, too”, the engineer told her, making her heart skip an excited beat; she smiled impossibly wide, then pulled her in for another kiss, relishing in how good it felt to have Holtzmann’s arms around her and feel her lips against hers, how it made her heart swell with love and joy.

Once again, Dr Erin Gilbert was happy.


End file.
